violet.

My mom passed last month. She was definitely the leader of the pack. Only 47 and had so much more to live for. She held everything about my family together. She continued to teach, build and create. The only thing left for me to do is learn from that, take what I can and implement it in my own life. After arguing non stop with my landlady I lost my status as a foster parent. God damn language barriers.. I now have a greater need to nurture, which makes my inabilities more straining. These dogs are basically my life.

Anyways, sad story time. Violet was an old foster of mine. She was a beautiful Lilac Pit who was adopted by this awesome family. They live in Crockett, near the Carquinas bridge. Husband, wife and three kids I think. The daughter loved art. The mom and dad both seemed happy. They each had dogs of their own before they met and got married. One had passed away..so they came to see Violet. They came, they saw, they adopted. I packed them a goody bag full of treats, toys and extra food. I even gave them a plastic bag because Violet always got car sick. Four months later I receive an email saying that Violet has to be returned. She's not getting the attention she needs and they're struggling.. they had a major loss in their family and couldn't bare to let Violet suffer. I really wish I could take her back. I felt like it was my sole responsibility to nurture this puppy. She's about 6 months now and she is mourning for the loss of her mother just as I am. She's being relocated and thrown into a new environment again and is now in the foster circle waiting for a new home. She'll go fast because she's a beautiful dog but she deserves more.

The mother committed suicide around the time my mother passed away. My good friend and fellow dog hoarder, Reed tried to ping me on G chat before I could read the email but it was alright. I accepted it. These things happen unexpectedly and you just keep going. So I thought about what my mom would have done.. being an animal lover and at times a hoarder herself. She would have saved Violet five times over if she had to. She would have felt responsible for the happiness of that puppy and that's how I feel.

I just hope she finds a happy home and doesn't feel the pain of loss anymore. Some say "she's a dog..she'll get over it" but that's not true. Dogs know love. Dogs know death. And they understand sadness. My heart goes out to that family. Those children don't fully understand. Dog bless them.

The girls just woke up.. guess it's time to start the dayyy.